if tomorrow morning you did not find me by your side

If tomorrow morning you did not find me by your side

Know that I wish I was the light that cures your blurry sight

I wish I could feel your weight rocking my stillness

As you move your face to greet my kisses.

If tomorrow morning you did not find me by your side

Please find the courage to continue to fight

You are always my reason to be

Even if being doesn’t want anything to do with me

If tomorrow morning you couldn’t snuggle inside my embrace

Don’t go back to sleep hoping for solace

Even if I wish I was the face in every face you see
I am also a firm believer in setting you free

If tomorrow morning you couldn’t find me by your side

Don’t hold on to your pillow tight

You must walk to the doors and open each door
And find all the things that you are in need for

Be found. Be found.

Love,

gadistlena

tuturkan padaku jalanku salah

Tidak peduli apa yang lebih tua
Tidak bersimpuh duduknya apa ku rasa
Diseberang sana aku berlagak bagai tahu
Ku gengam kemas, rapat sekali, semua yang ku mahu
Kau tuturkanlah jalanku salah
Lamunan panjang cari diskripsi diri
Bagai pahlawan perang menanti mati
Satu obsesi gagah menggegar
Misteri hidup, terus terus berlegar
Kalau labuhku panjang sejengkal
Salahkah aku tuk berbisik nakal?
Kalau dilautku hilang kemudi
Salahkah aku tuk terus menyanyi?
Kau tuturkanlah jalanku salah
Kau tuturkanlah padaku: "salah."
Sedangkan gendang harus sakit dipukul
Biar kau senang berjoget tari.
Sedangkan kipas tangan perlu sakit dilipat
Biar boleh kau guna banyak banyak kali.
Apalah Takdir kalau bukan hanya solusi
kepada semua teka teki?
HAHAHA. Ketawalah,
Dan tuturkan padaku jalanku salah.

Yang benar,
gadistlena

the reflection in the mirror is no longer you

You came home and she wasn't there. And then she told you that. She said it is the truth. You refused to believe her. You called her a liar. You blamed her for your pain. You felt that you've lost her for good. You concluded that that frustration is the result from love; but how can it be love, when in your heart you want to believe that she is a bad, dishonest person. Your concious mind might not be present for this. Because friend, you have entered the first stage of grieving.

Denial.

You said you're done trying. You thought, you have done your best and things are beyond repair. You called it quit.  Everything was her fault. Her friend's fault. God's fault. She is no longer the person you knew before. But does it ever crossed your mind, that maybe, just maybe, you are the one who have became the person she no longer knows? This is what I think. Both of you deserve better. Better in a subjective manner. Because as far as I know, love, is all about sticking through with someone. About forgiving each other. Each and everytime.

Yours truly,

gadistlena

ps; maybe the person you've really lost is yourself, during all the sandstorms

she hates it, but I admire your guts

Electerrifying, but well, it is true. You proved to us that you are the world's best _______. The way you asked her to kneel before you; you grabbed her head and stomped on her face, after that you left her counting those countless missed calls on her phone, countless countless countless voice messages and you got her reading all the text messages that came in like those exciting trending hashtags timelines on twitter. Her tears dropped over the bruises on her face. You said you're sorry, and that you care, but yet you twisted your words and make it seem like she's the one at fault. Man, it messes with her head real good. Excellent work. Bravo.

Respect,

gadistlena